This probably isn't even in the cinema anymore but here, let me save you the fiver or whatever it is to rent a new release these days. Brutal, so it is. Henry Cavill plays Clark Kent, just as he's figuring out who he is and where he comes from. This coincides with a baddie from his home planet arriving to Earth to destroy everything and act out other nefarious plans. Naturally, Superman has to stop him and although he's all super strong and whatnot there's just always something a bit lame about his character.. he's no Batman, you know? Amy Adams as Lois Lane was the only redeeming feature for me but I think she's great in everything. Overall though, himself and I spent pretty much the last hour of this laughing at how ridiculously bad and pointless it is so I won't be recommending it.
World War Z
I read the book of this and was a bit underwhelmed so I wasn't expecting a huge amount from the film but then it bears hardly any resemblance to the original storyline, so that's probably that then. The film starts off with the beginning of a quickly spreading zombie viral outbreak that Brad Pitt then has to then spend the rest of the movie travelling around the world trying to find a cure for. I actually really enjoyed this, it was nail-biting stuff, the zombies were scary and you didn't get a whole lot of time between action scenes for your heart rate to settle down. There were of course, plenty of holes in the plot but if you're expecting reality from a zombie film then best of luck. Plus, Brad Pitt was fairly watchable, as always.
Sweet Jebus, this was terrible. Set in the future, giant evil alien monsters have started arising from the Oceans to wage a war against humans and take Earth as their own. In retaliation, similarly gigantic robotic creatures are then created by the army to go out into the water and fight the bad guys. The acting in this was shockingly bad, not even Idris Elba was any good, and that's saying something. Also, the main female character in this really annoyed me. She couldn't just be a great fighter and leave it at that, she also had to be all obedient and timid and has to be taught by Charlie Hunnam how to be cool. Pah.
I really enjoyed this. I love Melissa McCarthy, who plays a tough and at times deranged cop opposite Sandra Bullock, an uptight and generally disliked FBI agent, on a mission to take down a drug dealer. So far, pretty much your standard 'odd couple' but somehow the combination of humour and unexpected physical violence really shook up that whole "buddy-movie" approach. It's not gonna win any Oscars but if you're looking for a good chuckle, I can definitely recommend this one.
The World's End
I am a huge fan of Shaun of the Dead, I also enjoyed Hot Fuzz so I was really keen to see the final movie in the "Cornetto trilogy" and mostly, it didn't disappoint. Basically, Simon Pegg's character is on a mission to complete the "golden mile" of pubs in the village where he grew up and so enlists the help of his former school friends (they've all moved on with their lives and are fairly successful, unlike Pegg's character). Unfortunately, their sleepy home and it's inhabitants have since been taken over by robots, who they then have to battle to survive. There were some really funny gags but probably not as continuously humorous as Shaun of the Dead. One thing Pegg/Frost/Wright do really well is create a mixture of witty in-jokes, slapstick and sentimental moments that can often bring a tear to the eye. I found that was less evident in this one, but entertaining nonetheless.
I love this. My thing for zombies is well documented at this stage and this story, based on the book of the same title, unusually follows a zombie narrator around in his daily life at an abandoned airport where he lives with a load of other zombies. He ends up coming across a human girl (who's there to kill him) and he falls in love with her. This in turn gives him back his humanity and he then has to learn how to be a person again, which also rubs off on the other zombies, with the potential for a cure. Unfortunately, her father hates his kind and wants to destroy him. Very Romeo and Juliet. What I really liked about this was that it took a well established genre and completely turned it on it's head. It's a really fresh and interesting concept and actually, a lovely storyline.
I'm a big comic book/superhero fan so that combined with himself telling me this was getting good reviews on Rotten Tomatoes (he always does that to me, and invariably the film is still always terrible) meant I put my better judgement aside to go see this. To be honest, I don't think they've made a truly good X-Men film in a while, the last one featuring Michael Fassbender (old Ridebag himself) as a young Magneto wasn't bad at all but that was a blip, I think. This is Hugh Jackman in a role he plays quite well but with a very disjointed storyline- the fight scenes are enjoyable but there aren't enough of them and mostly it seems to be about Wolverine staring into space and looking wistful, which I could probably do without. There's also a pretty amazing kick-ass Asian red-haired woman in it but again, they don't really make enough use of her character. If you're a big fan of the franchise, you'll probably want to see this before the next X-Men instalment, although you could just take my advice and not bother, because you won't be missing anything.
The story of a group of really annoying college students who rob a load of people to go on Spring Break, get done for drug possession and end up in debt to sleazy dealer James Franco, this was a creepy and at times unexpectedly bizarre film. Apparently it's become somewhat of a cult classic (already...*eye roll*) but the seriously gratuitous amount of female skin on show and sexual imagery was more than a little unnecessary for me. Also, the constant use of repetition in the film has left my brain melted...James Franco saying "Sprrrinng Breeeaaak..." over and over again is on a loop in my head, even as I write this. So generally, just meh. I suppose it could be argued that the female characters in it aren't as submissive as I expected them to be starting out, but given that I couldn't stand any of them, I'm not sure that's enough of a redeeming factor.
Ah, Sharknado. Genuinely, I assumed this was a joke when I first heard about it, but thankfully, no, it was not. Ian Ziering (STEVE FROM BEVERLY HILLS 90210, the ORIGINAL series...yes, I'm that old) plays a Californian bar owner who finds himself, his bar maid and his best friend in the unfortunate situation of having to go rescue his truly horrible wife (Tara Reid, yer one from American Pie and yes, I'm old, once again) and kids from an insane mix of tornado's and sharks. That's right. Everything about this film is terrible. The dialogue, acting, scenery, CGI, the sharks themselves, the attack scenes, but mostly the continuity, or lack thereof. One minute the scene will show a horrific storm with dark clouds and tornado's (naturally enough), while the following shot (supposedly the SAME SCENE) will be of a gloriously sunny beach with people sunbathing and the odd scream dubbed in for effect. What the what?? I mean, don't get me wrong, it's hilarious, but I could've spent that time dancing around maniacally to Daft Punk, or something equally as productive, you know? Basically, it's terrible but if you are like Phil and Clare Dunphy and enjoy films like "Croctopus 3D", then this is for you (apologies for the obscure Modern Family reference).
Let me know if you've seen any of these and if so, what did you think?