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Tuesday 6 May 2014

Casual Sexism To Sell "Novelty Items"??

You may have seen some of the controversy over this image which appeared on Twitter (photo courtesy of @jenharrisbede) today. Harris, an actor/comic/writer/rapper was disgusted to find this item on sale in River Island and took to Twitter to let the brand know how unimpressed she was. 


And then, we got to see the ugly side of the Internet. As Sali Hughes tweeted, regarding the same incident:


For my part, I mostly saw people in support of getting this removed from stores. It makes light of domestic violence against women in the most crass way possible; using what has been described as a "novelty item" and playing on old fashioned, offensive concepts. The fact that they've used an actual functioning tool to physically silence the "nagging woman" and one that is better known for its use in muting victims of sexual violence etc makes it all a bit grim really. Then I saw that Irish website Her.ie put a post up about this on their facebook page. Now, generally I try and avoid the comments on either her.ie or the Journal because really, my blood pressure can't handle all that stupid but I clicked in just to see if the mood was the same as it had been on Twitter.
Here's a sample of some of the comments (and yes, these were 99% from women):

"If only there was a way to gag these nagging idiots who complained."
"The complaints just reinforce the stereotype - idiots "
" I think the people complaining should be given one for free and taught how to use it. It's a joke for god sake why do we all have to be so bloody politically correct all the time now. Just have a giggle and move on."
"Sali Hughes could do with one"
"Get a life..... Get a sense of humour... FFS..."
"Does no female have a sense if humour....?!"
""Novelty" item jeeeezeee people see the fun in it...the empty shelf or space should be filled with signs "humerous" gifts on sale discount for people without it "
"Too funny, would love 1 me these  the world's gone mad & lost its sense of humour"
"Pity they don't sell senses of humour  they probably would get offended by that too "

Where to start. OK, firstly, the "get a life/sense of humour/grip/whatever, is a seriously weak response. If you can't tell me why this isn't sexist, isn't offensive and is in fact, hilarious without resorting to one of these then I'm not sure you've fully understood the issue. 
You don't find it offensive and you're a woman? Great! Delighted for you. There are lots of women and men that have found this disturbing including my husband and I and most of the decent people of twitter who I know. Does that mean that we're all right and those people are wrong? No, but at least I can explain why I think the way I do. 
Not one person who commented said it was funny for any particular reason, other than "it's a novelty item", "it's humerous" (poor spelling, also to be found throughout comment sections everywhere) or "it's a joke". A joke that uses embarrassingly lazy, sexist generalisations to demean and abase half our population is not a joke and it's not acceptable. The problem with things like this is that it's a domino in a long line; it seems fine and innocent now (to certain people) but added with all the other little jibes about women, the comments, the abuse in the street, the sexual harassment in the workplace, again in the streets, in pubs and nightclubs and you're laying the foundation for the following (and these are just the tip of the iceberg):


Organisations like The White Ribbon Project are trying to stamp out the sexist mentality that is still so pervasive in our society by stopping all types of violence against women, starting with "jokes" and comments made between the "lads in the pub", street harassment and all types of verbal, physical and sexual violence where men are the perpetrators. I think there's a long way to go before that is actualised but in the meantime, the fact that people of both genders think this is not only acceptable but hilarious is very worrying. If you think there's nothing wrong with this then at best, you have a terrible sense of humour. At worst, you think little of the degradation of women and are in fact, a misogynistic ass. And yes, women can (and are) misogynists too. Before you suggest it, if River Island were to bring out a similar product for women, I would be equally as offended. That's what makes me a feminist, I want equality for women AND men. One can't exist without the other. Things like this that reduce one sex to a lower level than the other through the use of jaded gender stereotypes and humiliation is NOT OK. 

The good news is that plenty of people are aware that ignoring this won't help; River Island had to take the product off the shelves and offline following complaints. 

I'd love to hear your opinions on this, especially if you can explain to me why this is funny! To the comments!

11 comments:

  1. At first looking at it i couldn't figure out what it was until I saw it... My stomach actually dropped. That is disturbing, really really disturbing. Disturbing that someone thought of it and that people actually thought it was ok to sell it. Jesus Christ. And don't get me started on those comments. I think I might have to actually unlike Her.ie and Journal.ie because of the comments I do see, like you said, they make my blood boil but not only that it makes me very scared that people out there think shit like this is ok. How the hell is it ok?

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    1. I think it's mostly ignorance Aisling but it's also an unwillingness to view something from the very narrow perspective they've grown up with. People who unquestioningly look at these sort of things and not only laugh and think it's great but also don't take the time to stop and consider the connotations behind it are bad enough. Worse still are the ones who hear the argument against it and resort to the usual "feminazi" etc comments. I think it's mostly fear because they lack a basic understanding or ability to comprehend a proper discourse about anything really. That might sound a bit harsh but it's the conclusion I've come to from seeing most (not all) of the comments on any Her.ie/Journal post.

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  2. Great post! I'm not surprised by the comments on her.ie- god forbid those women should be seen sticking up for their gender. I do think some "gag gifts" that poke fun based on gender can be fun, I'll hold my hands up, but this goes beyond politically incorrect. As you say it alludes to sexual violence and that is offensive at worst, not funny at best. It's not ok and it should not be shrugged off like it is. -claire

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    1. Thanks Claire. Generally I would just roll my eyes at anything vaguely gender-stereotypical used in a novelty way (I saw cufflinks earlier that say "If found return to wife"...aside from being tacky I also thought it was fairly sexist) but this really just stopped me in my tracks because, as we've both said, it alludes to sexual violence and aside from being plain wrong it's also disturbing that they would create that product but also that people think that's fine. Grr!

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  3. I agree with Claire some milder gag type gifts can be funny either aimed at guys or girls but this definitely seems really extreme and I'm surprised at River Island for thinking it was a good idea!! Very bad move on their part!

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    1. Yeah, it's pretty awful publicity for them. I'd definitely think twice about buying from them now especially as their response was the classic "sorry if you were offended" rather than "sorry that we caused offence". Hmm.

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  4. Great post Chloe. I was disgusted when I saw the pic you posted on twitter last night. How can people think that is funny. And River Island should have had more cop on as a brand then to sell such an offensive product. Thankfully they've taken it off the shelves now, but it should never have been given a place there in the first place, I'd expect to see this sort of thing in seedy sex shops, the kind that have blacked out windows and bouncers on the door at all times.

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    1. Thanks Evie. Spot on, it has no place in a high street store where all ages can see it. I don't consider this a novelty item either, and you're so right, it wouldn't be out of place in a sex shop.

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  5. Brilliant post Chloe, I saw it on Caroline Hirons instagram the other night. I was lost for words it is disgusting. I couldn't fathom how the marketing and buyers in River Island sat down and thought yes this is a good item to sell in our shop. RI wont be seeing my money again that's for sure.
    It's the sexist mentality around at the moment that gets me and that a lot of young girls and older ladies think it's OK, it's just for a laugh it kills me.

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    1. Thank you. I completely agree with you, I think this is actually a really big issue where women and young girls don't realise why this is wrong and so add to that culture even more, allowing it to grow and continue on. If the comments on this that i've seen are anything to go on then this is really worrying.

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  6. Jill Meagher's husband put it better than I ever could - http://whiteribbonblog.com/2014/04/17/the-danger-of-the-monster-myth/

    It's so insidious, which is why many people don't see anything wrong with it. After reading Tom Meagher's piece I asked my boyfriend "If you were out with your friends and one of them groped a girl, would you say something to him?". He replied, "Probably not.". My boyfriend is one of the kindest, gentlest most compassionate people I know and if he thinks that kind of stuff is not worth intervention, what would more aggressive men think is ok?

    Thank you so much for calling attention to this x

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